Out of the mouths of babes ... A spiritual child is a happy child, according to a new study
LORNA DUECK
Executive producer, Listen Up TV
Print Edition 21/03/08 Page A15
March 21, 2008
An Easter story in the Gospel of Matthew tells of a group of religious
leaders scolding Jesus for getting children all worked up into a
spiritual frenzy. Jesus, we read, levels an even older psalm at his
critics, replying, "Out of the mouths of children and infants, God has
ordained praise."
Yet we still wonder, in our secularized world, why kids say the
darndest things about spirituality. Turns out, it's one of the best
ways to make them happy.
Spirituality is a major contributor to a child's overall happiness,
says a new study, from the University of British Columbia, that tested
315 children aged 9 to 12.
"If you imagine a child's happiness represented by a big pie, the slice
of the pie accounted for by spirituality is about 7 percent to 17
percent. Money is less than 1 percent. If you looked at the
parents' marital status, it's less than 1 percent," says Dr. Mark
Holder, one of the study's authors, and an associate professor of
psychology at UBC Okanagan. The quality of their relationships, and
genetics, also rate high, but it's those fuzzy feelings about
spirituality that most surprise Dr. Holder and researchers at the
"Happy Lab."
Spirituality, it's important to note, may be shaped by religion, but it
is not the same as religion. In the UBC study that analyzed what makes
children happy, spirituality was defined as an inner belief system that
has four parts: personal meaning in one's life; relationships and love
for others; transcendental belief in a higher power; and a sense of
beauty and awe with nature. So strong was the spirituality ranking on a
child's happiness scale that the UBC researchers have now taken their
quest to India to see whether they will have similar results with
children in a country that is not dominated by Christianity.
I wasn't aware such young children could verbalize what the word
spirituality meant, let alone feel confident about a "sense of purpose"
- but maybe all we need to do is ask them. So I did.
"It sounds sort of like reality and spirit mixed together,"
seven-year-old Brodie told me. "Spirituality might mean that you have a
good spiritual friendship with God," said Liam. "I feel happy 'cause I
know that someone's protecting me and watching what I do and letting me
know if I'm doing something wrong that I can fix that if I'm making a
mistake," said Paul. For Ashley, the concept meant, "I can turn to God
whenever I need it." Grace was alarmed at the thought that spirituality
could be ignored: "I'd feel like a big part of me is missing. I would
feel alone in my life. I would feel worried, I would feel really
alone." Brodie concluded that without his faith, he'd feel "just
abandoned."
The children I talked to were neat and tidy in their private-school
uniforms. Their parents had paid thousands of dollars to ensure that
spirituality was a major part of their education. Mom and Dad's own
religious views were dominant in their families. One could be forgiven
for asking: Is spirituality a brainwashing ritual performed by devout
parents on their vulnerable children?
Hardly. Spiritual guidance is every bit as important as any discipline
a child needs instruction in. And this latest study from UBC isn't
alone in challenging those who believe a child's world should be kept
free of transcendence. When parents speak of their beliefs to their
children, it's not coercion - it's parenting. After all, scores of
Canadians are living proof that in spite of their parents having a view
on sin and grace, they were free to say, "No thanks."
So the questions persist: Were we happier when we understood that we
were part of a community of faith? When the spiritual significance of
Easter, for example, was grasped and we resurrected not only the story
of Jesus, but also our souls to the hope it holds? If we know we're
going somewhere in the great narrative of God's care, isn't it a good
thing to engage children in the mystery of it all?
I've been engaged of late by the book, Children Matter,
written by a group of Canadian and American childhood educators who
challenge us to look at our metaphors when it comes to children and
spirituality. Are kids sponges? Are they wet cement, to be quickly
moulded? Are they pilgrims on a journey with you?
I like the metaphor of a dance, where the parent places the music of
God around a child. As a child gets older, it's his or her own
responsibility to include God's music in their environment.
Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, this is where we so often tune
out the spiritual melodies. Then along comes the need to answer another
child's innate curiosity about God.
It's only right to give children everything they need in this quest -
even if it's source material from church, school, or Scriptures - to
help them hear the notes that give their souls an ability to dance.
Lorna
Dueck
is the Executive Producer of Listen Up TV www.listenuptv.com
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On April 30, 2005 Lorna was privileged to receive an honorary Doctorate of Christian Ministries from Canada's largest Christian university, Trinity Western University. Lorna was recognized for the witness and leadership that Listen Up TV has provided in public messaging: "a leader in the voice of evangelical life in Canada."
