When I married my partner for life he brought with him "The Gathering." Prairie family that had never moved far from the homestead, 37 members in all. We all bring gifts, a homebaked Christmas cookie platter, and lots of laughter. The schedule is always the same: Visit and snack, read Luke 2, hear the grandchildren sing and grandfather pray, open presents, eat turkey, play scrabble and snack some more. For nearly forty years of my husband's life this event never varied until we decided to move 2500 kilometers away for my work. I know he still likes me but you have to agree, I've really messed up a phenomenal family tradition.

That first Christmas on our own, on the day of "The Gathering", we took our homebaked Christmas cookies to my worksite where a round the clock prayer line is always available to those in need. We went to visit those who pick up phone call after phone call and asked, "whose calling on Christmas Day ?" We learned that not only that day, but for the entire week of Christmas, the national phone lines had been swamped with calls from people anxious over gatherings that were either rife with quarrels and resentments, or gatherings that simply weren't being held because of death, divorce or abandonment.

The next Christmas away we were caught up in a charming idea that was enthusiastically drummed up around broadcast planning meetings. Let's sponsor a Home For the Holidays contest; tell us your story, give us the address of the family you want to see, and wait for the magic to happen, maybe you'll be the fortunate family chosen.

The letters arrived quick and thick;

London: " I am writing you to reach out to my two sons I haven't seen in seven years ....." ,

Halifax: "I have not seen my mother for about four years because I was on crack cocaine and that was all that mattered to me. We have a lot of unresolved things to discuss from our past ....."

Alberta; "It has been 12 years since we saw our family, we moved to Alberta in 1976, leaving both our families and our own daughters in Ontario at the time .... I have grandchildren aged 7 and 10 whom I have never seen. Financially it is impossible for us to travel, my husband makes only $7.50 an hour ..... and I have spent many a Christmas day crying of loneliness. "

The Alberta family was eventually chosen and the television reunion of 17 extended family members looked just like we all want Christmas to look. Hugs and tears, gifts and little girls in velvet dresses, grandpa with a new baby in his arms, turkey dinner with chocolates and oranges, laughter and love.

Behind the scenes there had been many emotions the cameras could never show. Only one of three daughters agreed to let hurts from the past go and attend the reunion. The youngest daughter, with three little children of her own, exercised a deep reach of courage and forgiveness, communicating with her parents even though it hurt.

"On the second day we talked till 3 am, the next night until 4am, and then 4am again the next night," she told me. "It was really hard, but we got a lot of things straightened out, and I feel like I've got parents again."

A few months later, the mom from Alberta wrote again. By now I knew her mistakes, her regrets, and her resolve to keep venturing towards reconciliation. She added, "Feel free to publish my story, if I can help anyone who is hurting, I want to."

Back in my family circle, I'm about to step into another season of my own responsibility for Christmas. To one degree or another, my family, your family, the family from Alberta all have the same issues of repair, repent, prepare, and prevent to tackle in this the season of The Gathering.

We've decided this year, we're going back home, how about you?