Mary wrote; "That's what happens to someone whose disabled, everybody drops you eventually." Her cats haven't dropped her. "They are my best friends and I stay alive because I love them and know they need me."

Last month brought other letters from disabled people and all of them have me concerned that our compassion levels are in trouble.

Recovering from severe car injuries caused by a drunk driver, Betty Ellen wrote; "People stayed away except once a month a girlfriend and her husband came.... my neighbor on the west side turned her TV up to drown out times when I was screaming."

A 39 year old man with cerebral palsy said; "The people I talk with say sorry, you need to carry your own load. The fact of the matter is the public needs to realize that there are some people who cannot carry their own load."

Young parents of a handicapped child wrote; "We are dismayed at the response of so many Canadians who link words that do not belong together, mercy and killing."

Magdelena, an elderly disabled woman wrote: "Like so many others who depend on help for our daily needs, I am fearful of what's to become of us. The Latimer case has opened my eyes and ears as to how little value is place upon the disabled. When an animal is sick and beyond help we get them put to sleep. Is that what we, the disabled have become - animals?"

The disturbing letters were reactions to the sentencing of Robert Latimer, the father from Saskatchewan who admitted killing his severely handicapped 12 year old daughter Tracy. He loved her but hated the pain cerebral palsy brought to her life. In December, Judge Ted Noble ruled that giving Mr. Latimer the mandatory penalty for manslaughter would be cruel and unusual punishment. Since Tracy's death, doctors have argued Robert Latimer was "seriously mistaken that it was unmanageable pain." The Federation of Cerebral Palsy that represents 30,000 Canadians with C.P. stated it was deeply concerned with the court ruling saying; "Judge Noble erred in medical fact and moral reasoning."

While Mr. Latimer himself may not be a threat to the public, the attitudes stirred up by his actions certainly are. Mail and phone calls over the case carried more than just opinions of fearful disabled people. There were angry opinions from observers who echoed agreement with Mr. Latimer. There were heart breaking stories of caregivers who knew what it was to not be able to go another day, and there were those who said pain and suffering has opened the door to love, tenderness and a deeper appreciation for the complexity of life.

I don't think any of the opinions expressed would deny that they believe Tracy Latimer is in heaven. The same God whom we trust Tracy to for heavenly peace, is the God who says we shall not kill. He's the same God who commands us to love one another, which includes giving support in time and encouragement to those with disabilities. But even committed Christians seem to be thinking there are times we can override the commands of God that don't suit our understanding.

As a registered nurse caring for children with disabilities, Elizabeth wrote; "I would do the same as Mr. Latimer, the Lord giveth and taketh away but he also doesn't like to see his family suffer so greatly."

We trust God for the promise of heaven, but can we trust God's promise that says He will never leave us - even when we walk through transitions of pain and disability?

To pick and choose which parts of God we will believe in and which we won't sends us on the way to creating a society where, like Mary finds, cats become better company than humans. Where nurses like Elizabeth can't be trusted with their patients, where parents see the world through eyes of despair rather than hope. Do we have any idea where that world will take us?