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FAMILY RESOURCE COUNSELLING CENTER
www.fracc.org
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Jonas Beiler is the Founder of the Family Resource and Counselling Centre
Jonas Beiler had the chance to be Amish. Like all young Amish men, he
was given a choice. At 16, refused his father’s offer of a
horse and buggy and asked rather for a car.
A counselling center Jonas founded with the Amish in mind is now
helping families face the future after the schoolhouse
murders. Jonas and his Amish born wife Anne also faced the
death of their daughter in a farm accident. Seven years after the
tragedy they thought time should heal, rather what they had been doing
with their time hadn’t helped at all. So helped by the new skill
that counselling conversations brought to their dysfunction, Jonas
decided counselling was a gift he’d like to bring back to the
Amish he’d left behind:
“When Anne and I talked about opening this counseling centre, we
talked about probably 5 years before it happened … she went to
work to help pay for the bills … this was a turning point in our
lives – so I dropped our business to help others – we
developed what’s now known as the Auntie Ann’s pretzel
franchise – this business just grew and grew some more.”
Helping pay the bills grew to over 900 stores and more than $250
million in sales – a long way from the Beiler’s roots of
Amish simplicity. But pretzels financed the dream of helping people.
The Beilers sold Auntie Anne’s and are now building a family
center for everything from early learning to elder care. At the center
of it all, the Amish belief that Christ cares about your life:
“I call that redemption …..there are those
redemptive moments that happen when you’re telling your story
that don’t happen when you’re just quiet about
it.”
Brad Aldrich in the Executive Director of the Family Resource
Counselling Center in Gap, Pennsylvania. They have set up a
“Community Disaster Counselling Fund “ to give needed
counseling to the victims, families, and first responders involved with
this tragedy.
“FRCC is striving to become the premier Christian counseling and
education center in Lancaster and Chester counties in Pennsylvania,
USA. We are doing this by providing professional and quality Christian
outpatient counseling and offering interactive resources to the
community in the form of a public library (full of Christian and mental
health resources), workshops and satellite offices.”
HERMAN
BONTRAGER
Herman
Bontrager grew up in a Beachy
Amish home in Indiana. He received his M.A. in Sociology from the
University of Florida. As secretary of the National Committee for
Amish Religious Freedom he has worked with Amish on a variety of
religious liberty and other legal matters affecting the Amish. He
served 14 years with Mennonite Central Committee as Director of Latin
America programs and the International Peace Office. Since 1990 he is
CEO of Goodville Mutual Casualty Company in New Holland,
Pennsylvania. Herman was also appointed as the
spokesman for
the Amish community during the tragedy and is the head of the Nickel
Mines Accountability Committee that is receiving contributions for
the community and applying them to the needs that resulted from the
shootings.
The
statement that follows is released by the Nickel Mines Accountability
Committee on behalf of the people of Nickel Mines and the surrounding
communities that were affected by the shooting at the Nickel Mines
Amish School. The Amish Leadership is especially interested that this
statement be published in its entirety.
Statement
of thanks to
the public and plans for use of contributions
Nickel
Mines, Pennsylvania – On October 2 seven Amish
families in
our community experienced the unimaginable -- ten of their young
daughters were shot, five fatally, by a gunman who invaded the Amish
school where their children attended. The whole community, Amish and
others, were horrified and shocked that such evil could be done to
the most innocent members of our peaceful community.
Messages
of condolence and care,
financial contributions, and offers of all kinds of assistance began
to pour into the community almost immediately from the local
community and from around the world. We, the people of the Nickel
Mines community, are humbled and deeply thankful for this outpouring
of love. Each act of kindness, the prayers and every gift, small or
large, comfort us and assure us that our spirits will heal even
though the painful loss will always be with us. Thank you for your
generous kindness and for walking with us in this “valley of
death”. We wish we could thank each of you personally.
In
those first hours and days we
experienced personally the love and care of our neighbours and the
public and private service providers as they responded tirelessly and
selflessly. Specifically, we acknowledge and thank the following:
volunteer fire companies, especially the Bart Township fire company;
fire police; Lancaster County Sheriff’s Department;
Pennsylvania
State Police and local law enforcement people; ambulance and
emergency response teams; hospitals and all the related medical
providers; coroners; churches; community volunteer groups;
transportation providers; and the Mennonite Central Committee,
Mennonite Disaster Service, the Anabaptist Foundation and the
numerous banks and businesses that are collecting funds. To all those
we failed to mention, thank you, and apologies for not naming you.
We
thank people from the news media
who sensitively reported our tragedy to the world and in many cases
wrote thoughtful commentary that helped the world grapple with values
that are dear to us -- forgiveness, non-violence, mutual caring,
simplicity and life in a community of faith. Above all, thank you for
the acts of kindness you showed us even while you were doing your
reporting work.
The
Roberts family is also
suffering. Please join us in showering care on them, praying for them
and in assisting them with financial needs that they face.
We
have
organized the Nickel Mines Accountability Committee to receive
contributions and apply them to the needs that resulted from the
shootings: medical and counselling services, transportation for
victims, transportation and extra living expenses for family members
attending to the victims, rehabilitation, long-term disability care,
modifications to homes or schools if needed to make facilities
handicap accessible, and any other expenses resulting from the event.
If adequate funds are received contributions may be made to charity
funds of health service providers and to volunteer public service
entities that responded to this event without charging for their
services. Funds received in excess of what is needed to respond to
the Nickel Mines Amish School tragedy will be contributed, as the
committee deems appropriate, to needs arising from other tragic
events within or outside the Amish community.
Thank
you and
God bless you.
MENNONITE DISASTER SERVICE
www.mds.mennonite.net
Kevin
King is the Executive Director of
the Mennonite Disaster service in Akron, Pennsylvania.
MCC
and MDS collect over $700,000
for Amish by
Tim Shenk
AKRON, Pa. -- Mennonite Central Committee
(MCC) and Mennonite Disaster Service (MDS) have collected over
$700,000 U.S. , or $800,000 Cdn., for the community affected by the
Oct. 2 shootings at an Amish school in Nickel Mines.
MCC and
MDS are transferring 100 percent of these contributions to a Nickel
Mines Accountability Committee comprised of seven Amish community
members and two non-Amish community members. The committee will apply
the funds to needs that result from the shootings, including medical
and counselling services, extra living expenses for affected families
and long-term disability care.
MCC and MDS agreed to accept
contributions for the Nickel Mines Accountability Committee in
consultation with Amish community leaders and will continue to do so
until Oct. 27. These contributions should be designated for the
"Amish School Recovery Fund."
In an Oct. 10
statement, the Nickel Mines Accountability Committee thanked the many
people who have contributed in the wake of the shootings.
"We,
the people of the Nickel Mines community, are humbled and deeply
thankful for this outpouring of love," the committee stated.
"Each act of kindness, the prayers and every gift, small or
large, comfort us and assure as that our spirits will heal even
though the painful loss will always be with us."
Tim
Shenk is
a writer for MCC communications.
"The Amish Message of Forgiveness"
BY JAMES P. PINKERTON
Religion
– Miami Herald
www.newsday.com
It's a paradox of our time that the Amish, arguably the least
technological people in America, have nevertheless proven to be
extraordinarily effective at communicating what they believe. In a time
of proliferating techno-clutter, they got their message across the
old-fashioned way: through the blood sacrifice of martyrs.
Of course, there's no reason to think the Amish -- who lost five of
their own in an Oct. 2 school shooting in Pennsylvania -- had any plan
for teaching us a lesson in Christian forgiveness. But sacrifice and
martyrdom are deeply woven into the history of Christianity, and what
the Amish offered all of us, whether or not we are Christians, was an
enduring example of how to behave admirably in an hour of sorrow.
To use the modern language of cybertech that the Amish so resolutely
reject, the message of forgiveness has gone ''viral'' across the
culture.
The murder of five girls, and the wounding of five more, ended with the
killer, Charles Roberts, shooting himself as police closed in. And
because no legal issue remains to be wrangled, we can move on to the
next phase: reconciliation.
That's where the Amish shone. According to The Associated Press, the
family of Marian Fisher invited the Roberts family to join them in
grief and remembrance. And a member of the Roberts family attended
Marian's funeral.
Where did the Fisher family get such inspiration? One can only think of
the Book of Matthew, of the Sermon on the Mount, when Jesus said,
''Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.'' Or to
Romans 12:21: ''Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.''
One witness to this intensely Christian moment was the Rev. Robert
Schenck, who recalled for CNN, 'As we were standing next to the body of
this 13-year-old girl, the grandfather was tutoring the young boys, he
was making a point, just saying to the family, `We must not think evil
of this man.' It was one of the most touching things I have seen in 25
years of Christian ministry.''
The widow of the killer, Marie Roberts, issued a statement declaring
that she and her family were ''overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace
and mercy.'' She added to the Amish: ''Your love for our family has
helped to provide the healing we so desperately need.'' Once again, the
Amish didn't ask for this to happen to them.
One is reminded of the scene in the first Lord of the Rings movie, when
Frodo laments his difficult fate: ''I wish none of this had happened.''
To which the wise old Gandalf answers, ''So do all who live to see such
times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is
what to do with the time that is given to us.'' Then Gandalf reminds
his young comrade, ''There are other forces at work in this world,
Frodo, besides the will of evil.'' Of course, in the mind of Rings
author J.R.R. Tolkien, himself a Christian, one of those ''other
forces'' was God.
Tolkien struggled to find a way to communicate his Christian message,
and he found it through allegorical fantasy. Others have found their
own way -- or, in the tragic case of the Amish, fate found them, and
their little girls.
It is said that a wealth of information leads to a poverty of
attention, and that's normally the case if the programming is just one
more forgettable and interchangeable show. Yet, amid the yammering of
the proverbial 500 TV channels -- now 500 million YouTube.com channels,
as well -- the powerful Amish message, inflected by tragedy, was heard
by millions of Americans, loud and clear.
Thus the paradox: A people who don't own a single camera or microphone
or computer found a way to make a valuable point. They led all of us,
gently, by the quiet power of tragic example.
James P. Pinkerton is a columnist for Newsday.
DALE LANG
Canadians
will remember the poignant story of the Lang family from Tabor,
Alberta, who lost their dearly loved son and brother Jason in April,
1999. Jason was only 17, when he became the victim of a copycat,
Columbine-style high school shooting. His killer was a 14-year-old boy;
a fellow student at W.R. Myers High School. Reverend Dale Lang is
Jason’s father. At his son’s funeral, Reverend Lang
spoke a message of
love and forgiveness. He led prayers for Jason’s killer and
for the
killer’s family.
FORGIVENESS IS A GIFT FROM GOD
Murder
of a pastor's son left a "permanent hole" in his family. But
relationship with the living God who heals the hurts gives freedom to
forgive.
by
Sue Careless interviewing Dale Lang (Christianity.ca/Faithtoday.ca 2003)
Jason
Lang, 17, was shot dead by a fellow student in the halls of his high
school in Alberta on April 28, 1999. A friend of Jason's was seriously
wounded. The shooting followed only days after a high school massacre
in Colorado.
Despite their grief, Jason's parents, Dale and Diane
Lang, publicly forgave the youth accused of their son's murder and
comforted the students stunned by the shootings. Dale Lang is an
Anglican minister at St. Theodore's Church in Taber. He and his wife
prayed on the very spot where Jason was killed, in the hope of
exorcising evil from the school. The couple then greeted students when
they returned to classes.
The accused's parents, the father in
tears, have apologized to Jason's parents. The two mothers have met
frequently and embraced. And because the Langs have not shunned the
family, neither has the town. Court proceedings against the accused
have been adjourned until April 5, 2000 because a November surgery on
his aorta (unrelated to the shooting) left him in a coma.
Jason was
the middle of five children. Since his son's death, Lang has spoken
frequently across the country. Sue Careless interviewed him for Faith
Today.
FT:
Is forgiveness something we have to continually practise, something we
never quite master?
Lang:
Without
God's love I couldn't have forgiven that young man who shot our son.
This is too painful a thing to do on your own. With God in my heart he
has made it possible. I've been set free from bitterness and anger and
unforgiveness, and that's a wonderful gift.
I was angry at losing my
son but not angry at the boy who killed Jason or at his family. I've
never transmitted the anger to the boy or his family. God didn't let us
fall into the trap of anger. God gave us peace that the world cannot
give. There was a real move of evil in a short space of time in this
boy's life, but God is taking something very evil and turning it to
something very good.
I'm an ordinary person, but inside of me lives the great and awesome
Lord, and he made the difference.
FT:
What
would you say to the parents of other murder victims or to anyone who
finds it impossible to pray, "as we forgive those who trespass against
us"?
If we make a vow that we will never forgive someone, then I believe
we're out of God's will,
Lang:
Forgiveness
is a choice. If we make a vow that we will never forgive someone, then
I believe we're out of God's will, because God forgives. I encourage
people to say, "I forgive," even if they don't fully feel it. Do it on
a daily basis and you will gradually move into that forgiveness.
Then
go further and ask God to bless the people who have wronged you. It
takes time. Those who get angry are so deeply hurt, and those hurts
need to be dealt with so that they can receive some healing.
FT:
Don't you and your family feel like victims some days? The forgiveness
doesn't take away the grief and anguish, does it?
Lang:
We've
been victimized. We've been robbed of our son. But we're not drowning
in self-pity. If I am upset, I just go somewhere where I can cry for a
while. And I know my son is with the Lord. He was a Christian. He loved
Jesus. I'm thankful for that, but it still hurts to lose him, to not
have him here.
FT:
There's no time limit on grief, is there? It resurfaces when you least
expect it.
Lang:
We
must let each person grieve in their own way. I feel sorrow and great
sadness. Those who have lost children speak to me. They understand.
Their grief is profound. Even if the loss was 30 years ago, there can
still be tears today.
It's never over for anybody. The offender and
his family still have to go through the trial and punishment. For the
boy who was injured, it is hard physically and emotionally. And there's
a permanent hole in our family. Life will never be normal for us again.
FT:
Are you hoping that the justice system will give you some sense of
closure?
Lang:
When
you forgive someone, you get closure. We pray that one day we can tell
the young offender personally that we forgive him and desire his
healing. We hope he receives the healing that he needs. God loves that
young man, although he does not love the evil action that he took.
FT:
Some families of murder victims have felt revictimized by the criminal
justice system.
Lang:
We
don't put our hope in the justice system because it cannot bring our
son back. It doesn't impact us. We trust in God's eternal justice. The
Crown prosecutor told us that every time a young person kills someone
in Canada, the government gets calls and letters to tighten the Young
Offenders Act. Because of how we handled the situation, no one called,
even though the offender was 14 years old at the time.
FT:
Do
you believe in restorative justice, where the victim (or the victim's
family) and the offender must face each other and talk, and the
offender has to acknowledge the wrong he has done and the pain he has
caused?
Lang:
Restorative justice works only if it's by God's grace and to his glory.
That's the foundation, or else it's too hard.
FT:
You're
the minister of a small Anglican church in a rural town of only 7,200.
Yet you're arguably now the best known Anglican pastor in the country.
Now even the secular world listens to you.
A genuine experience of the love of God and his forgiveness impacts
people more than all the theology in the world.
Lang:
A
genuine experience of the love of God and his forgiveness impacts
people more than all the theology in the world. In the months since
Jason's death, things that were impossible in 12 years of ministry have
become possible. Hearts we thought were untouchable are being moved.
God is moving in a powerful way in Taber and indeed across the country,
but it's very bittersweet. It would be so perfect if only Jason were
here.
I won't give a talk about school violence unless they [the
authorities] allow me to talk about Jesus Christ. God calls us to be
passionate in living out our faith and loving the unlovable in the
incredible love that God has bestowed on us. We need to live and walk
the good news that Jesus Christ is the answer to every problem in this
country.
FT:
When you were asked by a radio announcer, "Who was responsible for
Jason's death?" you surprised everyone with your answer.
Lang:
Yes.
[I answered the question by saying that] I personally bear some
responsibility. I've watched huge changes in our culture, things our
grandparents and parents would never have tolerated, and I realize I've
been much too silent. In the pulpit it's easy, but in the public square
I have not been facing changes head on. We're denigrating what it means
to be human. Evil has taken ground in a deep and profound way in this
nation.
A faithful church in the power of the Holy Spirit needs to
stand up and speak God's word into society. Our task is to find out
what God is doing and to get on board. We need an intense season of
prayer because prayer is always a prerequisite of significant revival.
God is calling us to get out of our comfortable pews and our majestic
churches and profess our love for Jesus in our country. When revival
comes, God will touch the hearts of people so deeply that they won't
need pornography or drugs any more.
FT:
In the months since Jason's death, you have been speaking across the
country to thousands of people. What have you learned?
Lang:
In
my travels I've found a lot of people trapped in anger and hurt and
unforgiveness—and these are people in the church. The Lord is
saying,
"Give me your burden because I love you so much. I don't want you
carrying that weight around on your shoulders. You weren't made for it.
I can handle it."
That's how much the Lord loves us. That's why we
can be passionate for Jesus. It's out of that passionate relationship
with him that the love flows. God makes it possible for us to love
unlovable people. It's a relationship with the living God who heals the
hurts in us that gives us the freedom to forgive.
God is calling us
to live in that passionate relationship, not to settle for a lukewarm
Christianity. It won't do. It won't see you through. It wouldn't see me
through. When God sets your heart on fire, wow! It is amazing and
wonderful. But it doesn't take away the pain. I know that I have to
live with the pain of losing my son for the rest of my days, but the
grace of God is enough.
A close friend said, 'There are no good days
and no bad days, just days of grace—grace to enjoy and grace
to
endure." I walk with God's grace every day.
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